Hi there ...

Oh my, it's a mum's worse case sinario... and as a mum who's son was diagnosed diabetic at 14 , and was quickly told about amputations , blindness , etc ... this was some 20 years ago, when it was so different from having it now .. and the hypos scared me silly, as they could die within minutes of a servere one ... 

I cried all the time .. I sat outside his bedroom just to hear him breathing .. I was a wreck... then one day, I was sitting by his feet as we watched t.v ... and thought he couldn't see the tears I was crying .. he turned my face to him, and said "mum , I can cope with the diabetes... but I can't cope with you crying all the time" 

Well that knocked me out of that "am I going to loose him" to thinking , I was going to learn everything to keep him well .. and even started a club for children newly diagnosed in my town ..  he has had a few really bad hypos along the way, one where I was sure he was gone .. but I kept my "mum's can do this" head on, and did what l had to do, till the ambulance got there ..

You see us mum's have no choice really .. we have to help them do things we should never have to see our kids do .. and for him, there's no cure, it's life long .. but your not alone .. you need to get all those emotions out but then go on to get our mum's boxing gloves on, and get in the ring with our babies and help knock out whatever they are facing .. be it cancer or diabetes ... 

So try as I had to, not to look ahead ... live in the day... take each problem as and when it comes up .. don't keep thinking "what if" coz then it's overwhelming... and when your alone , let it all out ... and tell yourself it's o.k and normal to feel them ... it's about balance .. letting it out .. then boxing gloves on, and being their strength... it's one of the hardest things you'll ever do in life ... but being strong, is really feeling scared witless but still doing what you have to anyway...

Always here if you need a chat ... sending you a vertual hug from one mummy to another ... Chrissie

Thank you so very much Chrissie.

I'm usually great at all the advice and can usually counsel myself through situations, but when it's your 'baby' being the strong one, I feel so very proud of the young lady she has become but feel like I am letting her down by letting her see my tears.

I know we all have to be strong and positive to get through this,  and im sure that when the information comes and the treatment begins, i will know what we are facing and can prepare for battle.

Until then,  I will put on my boxing gloves and fight so hard to get us through to the other side. Its just the not knowing that is driving me mad, yet our daughter is continuing to go to school and take her gcses, her choice. She is a fighter and will hopefully beat this.

Sarah xx