I’m totally at a loss as to how to live a fulfilling life with this diagnosis. I’m undergoing a hideous chemo regime, I feel unwell 75 percent of the time. I’ve got 4 gorgeous children but cancer has completely sucked the joy from every aspect of my life. I was mid acrimonious divorce upon diagnosis and my ex husband has remained in the family home. I am on sick leave for a job I absolutely loved. Currently living with my lovely mum whilst my divorce/finances are settled. The children live between us. I’m terrified of dying before I get the opportunity to rebuild my family life. I’m exhausted and feel physically and mentally broken by the operation, lengthy inpatient stays, chemo, medical trauma etc. Desperately searching for a positive way of navigating this new life and holding onto some hope that I could live for a longer period of time managing the cancer.