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How am I supposed to feel?

Jellybeans29
Offline

I was diagnosed with head and neck cancer in February 2025, after 3 years of back and forthing to the doctors and hospital. I started proton beam therapy on the 7th July 2025 and finished on the 22nd August 2025 , so I’m fresh out of treatment. 
I’ve managed to stay really positive about my diagnosis until now. Now im worried sick. I have cancer of unknown primary. My mind is racing - is this toothache the primary? Is this spot the primary? I’m so full of worry that the primary will pop up but it will be too late and it will kill me. I’m 24, I’ve been married 1 year and I have 2 daughters aged 2 and 11 months. Not only am I scared of dying, I’m scared of how it will impact my family. I can’t sleep well due to nightmares regarding death. I don’t know what to do. 

  • Hello Jellybeans29

    I'm sorry to hear about your diagnosis and all that you have been, and continue to, go through. Undoubtedly, it sounds like it has been a tough time for yo,u and it's understandable that you're experiencing a rollercoaster of strong emotions. 

    I know that we have members here in the community who will understand some of what you've shared in your post, and hopefully they will post soon to share their experiences and advice with you. 

    In the meantime, I'd really encourage you to reach out to your specialist cancer nurse if you have been allocated one. Let them know how you're feeling. They will know what support services are available in your local area and may be able to refer you to a cancer specialist for counselling. Alternatively, you can talk with your GP or Consultant at your next appointment. 

    As a young person living with cancer, you might find it helpful to have a look at the website for the charity Shine Cancer Support. They specifically offer support for people in their 20s, 30s and 40s who are living with cancer, and I'm sure you'll be able to connect with others who share similarities to your situation through their services as well. It's worth looking to see if there is a Maggie's in your local area as well. They offer a range of support services, including one-to-one support, groups, and drop-in coffee mornings. It really can help to talk with others who understand. 

    You are most welcome to give our nurses a call for advice and support as well. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any reassurance and information they can. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    I don't know what support you have around you from family and friends, Jellybeans29. Hopefully, there are loved ones close by that you can talk through some of your concerns with and in turn, they can offer you reassurance. 

    Keep posting here in the Cancer Chat forum if it helps to have a safe space to put down in writing how you're feeling or to ask questions. We're here for you, Jellybean29 and will do our best to offer any support we can. 

    Sending you my best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Hi Jen,

    Thank you so much! I will defo phone my nurse tomorrow and see if she can refer me to some kind of counselling or therapy, I think I need it. 

    The night I posted on here I was feeling really overwhelmed with emotions and I just didn’t know what to do as I couldn’t speak to my family about it , but actually just writing it all down made me feel so much better :) 

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