No I get it. My mum has just been diagnosed with colon cancer. It's like we've struck by a thunder bolt. 

All getting together tomorrow which is good. Not my first experience but my 1stt which affects my kids who you want to protect but can't do anything. Hope you're doing ok

I can only imagine. That's great your all getting together ! I'm finding I'm most at ease when I talk to my siblings. They're both away from home at the moment. *** it's just such a kick in the guts.