Hey Leigh,

So sorry to hear what you're going through. I'm 28 and was diagnosed with breast cancer in March. It's also considered rare in your 20s but here we are.

If I'm honest it has been a complete rollercoaster. Some days I'm fine and others I'm really upset. My advice would be to surround yourself with people who make you feel good and be prepared for some friendships to change. I've found some people I was close with don't get it but equally some people I didn't expect much in the way of support from have really outdone themselves. The key for me is having stuff to look forward to and not being hard on myself if I don't want to do things. Now I don't hesitate to avoid social situations if I don't feel up to it. 
 

I'm also seeing a phsychologist for therapy as I try and find my new normal. I would recommend that. Its helpful talking to someone you don't know and being able to vent your feelings and talk about the things you don't want to say in front of your loved ones. Accept all the help made available to you and let people do things for you.

I was diagnosed just before I got married and had fully expected to try and start a family next year also so I get that will have been very difficult for you. It's mad how life and plans can change in an instant. 
 

It will be tough but you'll have a new found appreciation of what your body is capable of and a different, more appreciative view of the simple things in life. Xx

Hi [@gracemac123]‍ , thank you for responding and I'm so sorry to hear about your diagnosis also. You have described how I'm feeling, it's a rollercoaster and that's what I find the most draining! One minute I'll be fine and feeling confident and the next it's like the end of the world! I've never usually been one to shy away from social situations but my social battery runs out quickly now, I'll easily get fed up and want to go home. But it's also annoying because I'll do something fun and then when I come home it's back to reality.

I have taken up the free therapy sessions from macmillan to try and calm my anxiety, before I've even started the treatment I'm worried about recurrence! I wish my brain would stop. I'm sorry to hear you got diagnosed before your wedding, it's unfair and this shouldn't be happening to us but yes like you say it makes you appreciate life And you begin to look at it differently.

if you don't mind me asking how are things going for you now, are you in treatment or have you finished? Have you also made any plans to reserve your fertility! For me it seems to be at the forefront of my mind but from what I've seen because of our age we have more of a chance of our fertility remaining intact, and certain chemos aren't as harsh on your fertility! 

Sending you love and my best wishes xx

I've finished my active treatment now and I started back at work this week on a phased return. I took 4.5 months off but got to the point where I was getting bored and my mind would run riot so I wanted to be busy. 
 

I was very fortunate in that I was able to avoid chemo so my eggs weren't harvested but I will be on hormone medication for the next 5 years which means I can't get pregnant. They said if I were a few years older then they would've harvested them but they said as I'm only 28 they aren't concerned about not being able to get pregnant in 5 years time (or sooner if they let me take a break on my medication). When will you find out about chemo? Have you spoken to them about potential egg preservation? 
 

it's totally normal to worry about recurrence but I guess what I would say is that it's very easy to read negative things online, no one really posts about the positive things and the success stories so just bear that in mind. One of the things I've been doing with my psychologist is acceptance and commitment therapy, so learning not to dismiss your fears but think about them rationally and challenge those thoughts with evidence. That has been working for me. Having said that though, no strategy is 100% and I still have days where I'm miserable. I hope that lessens over time but just need to learn to take it one day at a time.

xx

[@gracemac123]‍  I hope things are going well for you at work!

annoyingly I'll only find out in a good few months time I believe. The surgery I'm going in for is minimally invasive only used for the earliest rectal cancer to remove the polyp. Following the full biopsy of the polyp is when they'll decide if I need major surgery, and following that is where they'll discover if I need chemo so it's going to be a frustrating wait! I've not had a face to face yet but when I do I'm going to make it very clear I want to protect me fertility at all costs! That is very true also it can seem so negative online when actually there a lot of people who have success stories out there. Sending you all the best xxx

you will be fertile. my daughter aged 19 had hard core chemo x 2 over 2 years and then got pregnant. they had no time to freeze eggs. you will be fine