Hi everyone,
Firstly I apologize for grammar error as English is not my first language. I want to share my experience with cancer, which still I am in the process, to remind you to not be scared!
I am 33 years single women. I was studying and almost complete my master and prepare myself for PHD. Then one day, I just want to check my breast if everything is ok or not. Actually I did not have any symptom related to cancer. It was just normal check-up as I had not gone to doctor to check my body for 3 years. When my GP said that it is better to take ultrasound and maybe mammography to be sure that everything is ok, I went to the Hospital. Then I learned that I had HER2 positive 3. Level breast cancer with zero symptoms!!!!. Mine was invasive malignant microcalcification around 10 cm2. It was a big shocked of course! I cried and pretended as if I am in the nightmare for a few days. Then I walked, walked and walked in the street one week to understand and digest this big news in my life. I was alone and had no family support because I was in Belfast. In addition, I could not have a big community around me in Belfast. I just could have few friends because of covid and very limited social life. Moreover, I had lots of problem financially and accommodation. On the one hand, I tried to solve this problem. On the other hand, I was trying to keep my body from any virus and any accident. It was one of the toughest time in my life. After I arrange everything, I went to one of the best restaurant and enjoy with my food and promised myself that this cancer will go just like it came!! I promised myself that I will eat even though I vomit and nausea. I promised myself that I will continue keeping my body active during the day such as walking and exercise. And I promised myself I will spoil myself and can be weak sometimes. So, If I feel weak, then be as this heals the soul and body to strengthen your will for future…
Then I shared this with my siblings on the phone and we cried together. It was really difficult to not hug your sisters and brothers while you share your bad news. After we digested this together, I said to them to not cry anymore as it will pass!!! Then we started laughing on the phone, making funny gossips and stories and send gifts to each other and say beautiful words to each other and all these beauties have started to flow around us.
When I had lots of appointment with surgeon, oncologist etc… I bought diary which helped a lot to follow your appointment. After having conversation with my surgeon and oncologist, I was convinced that I am with right doctors. Do not think you bore these people. They are here for you.
Then, my treatment has started. Yes, I had nausea and very bad headache but Oncology helpline helped a lot and I managed very well in the first and second cycle. After third cycle, I had started to vomit and very bad muscle pain. But, this also was managed with Breast Cancer Nurses. They are amazing! While I was preparing for next cycle, I have had covid!! Here I am!!! Was it really necessary to have covid now? Any way…. It came and I kicked it off even though still I have covid symptoms…
With a very limited environment and few people in Belfast, I am continuing this treatment and I know it may be more difficult during surgery and after surgery. But I know that life is much stronger than this cancer!!!
Please do not allow the scary to occupy your mind and your body!. Just know that we can beat cancer as long as we believe in ourselves!!! We just need to decide who will win!
You can feel fear, angry, disappointed, stressful. Give a space to feel whatever you want to feel. However, remind yourself that you are very strong and this cancer is just a piece that you can kick it off!!!
if you want to ask anything, I will try my best for you!