Hi James,

You will naturally feel lost at the moment. You have been working around the clock to care for your wife and, when it suddenly stops, you are bound to feel that you don't know what to do with yourself.

The way you feel is perfecty normal. It is still early days for you. You are thinking way too far ahead at the moment. What changes the future brings will be up to you. You won't leave your wife behind, you will always keep her in your heart. If you are able to talk to your son and daughter openly about their mum, you will all cope a lot better.

Have you read about the different stages of grief? It can be helpful to know what to expect. When are you due to see the counsellor? I am sure that s/he will be able to explain this to you.

Thinking of you all and always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine

Hi Jolamine,

The local Hospice kept calling me up before the funeral and Christmas in order to speak to me about counselling. I agreed to call them after Christmas to arrange this.

I called them up yesterday and guess what... they have a six month waiting list for one to one counselling. What use is that to me? I need a counsellor to speak to now, so I don't really understand why they badgered me before Christmas when they can't even help me when I need it most.

They offered me a group session, but I said I need a one to one session first to vent off my troubles, I don't want to listen to other peoples problems on a first session when I've got enough of my own. Yes, we're all in the same boat, but I'm not ready for that type of counselling session just yet.

I really don't know where to turn now as I thought the Hospice were going to be able to assist me.

Trying to seek counselling is just becoming another stress that I could really do without just now.

James

Hi James,

I am surprised that the hospice didn't warn you that there was a waiting list before the funeral and you might have booked an appointment then.

Do you have a Maggie's or Macmillan Centre near you? They offer counselling and also offer alternative therapies to try to de-stress you. You could also ask your GP about other cancer charities, which offer counselling services in your area. I suspect that all will have a waiting list, but hopefully not as long as 6 months.

I agree that although you may find group counselling helpful later on, but you do need one-to-one counselling to start with.

I sincerely hope that you can find someone local to you soon.
Kind regards,

Jolamine xx