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Dealing with shock death of mum

Kel91
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My mum passed away at the age of 51 with cancer that had spread through out her body. We all (including mum) didn't find out she had cancer until 9 hours before she died in hospital after collapsing at home that morning. She had been ill a few months but had been lying to us saying she had been to the drs/hospital but in fact had never made contact - we don't know why but have ideas. Everything is so confused and I'm searching for answers that I can never know as to why she lied etc and dealing with losing my mum and dealing with her affairs. 

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    Hi Kel,

    Firstly I want to say how sorry I am for you losing your Mum to Cancer, it is so sad for you and hard to come to terms with especially not knowing so having no time to process things. 
     

    I lost my dad to Brain Cancer in September, and although he and we knew his prognosis he did everything he could even at the end to protect me, my sisters and my Mum. He would always say he was fine although he wasn't, he would always say he wasn't worried although it was obvious he was, he was so brave the whole way through it and all he wanted to do was not upset us. It was his way of coping, he never mentioned his illness he actually wanted us to keep t it a secret because if he talked about it it became real.  
    I wonder whether your Mum kept it to herself because she wanted to protect you from the sadness and she might not of been able to admit it because she didn't want it to be true.

    I may not be any help but I just want to say I am sorry for your loss it's completely heart braking xx
     

     

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat Kel although I'm so sorry to hear of the sudden loss of your mum at the tender age of 51.

    I can't begin to imagine how tough it must be to try and get your head around all this but I'm glad you've reached out to us as many members of our community, like snow-drop just above, will understand what you are going through and will do all they can to comfort and support you at this time.

    Sadly I can't provide the answers you're so desperately seeking but I hope it helps to know we're thinking of you and will be here for you when you're ready to come back to the forum.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

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    Hi Kel,

    I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your mum. 
     

    I've been through exactly the same losing my mum at the end of October. She hadn't been well for the last few months and like your mum didn't make contact with drs etc and had an excuse for every symptom she had and just brushed it off. It turned out she had rectal cancer which had spread to her liver and she died instantly as a result of the tumour perforating. A complete shock to all of us left behind but we find some comfort in knowing she wasn't aware she had cancer - just that diagnosis alone would've sent her over the edge. 
     

    It's reassuring to know someone else out there knows and understands the pain of losing your mum in such shocking circumstances. You're not alone. Thinking of you and sending lots of love x

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