I really can't cope I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel unpredictable. My mum aged 61 died of pancreatic cancer on my 40th birthday this April. She had her diagnosis on 1st December and I went to all appointments with her , she begged them to do something. She did have a stent fitted which prolonged her life but then she was in & out of hospital with sepsis and became of Covid we couldn't even visit. The last 2 weeks of her life I slept on the floor at her home next to her hospital bed as she was so ill. She had a horrific death I wish I could say she died peacefully but she didn't. I never cried only the last few hours of her life. Didn't even cry at her funeral. Since her husband has been spending weekends at an other woman's house not even 2 months after mum passed. Explained we felt so betrayed he since blocked us all I have nothing of my mums for comfort. I've sent letters asking for things. Really feel I can't grief probably although I am having meltdowns not sleeping. I'm a single mum and just feel so lost and isolated. I miss her dearly