Dear Lyndsy10, you must contact  your GP or call the Samaritans as you are obviously extremely depressed and still grieving for the loss of your Mum.  This is not a normal way to be and its awful that everyone has abandoned you to your distress and have given no sympathy.  Many think that after a few weeks you will be over it but in your case it seems Mum was your reason to get up and help each day and you have left yourself bereft as it has isolated you from everyone else.  Lots of others will help you on this forum and offer love and advice so it's good that you know you need help and this has been the first step in seeking help.  One of our Moderators will pop on and probably give you phone numbers and websites that will help, we also have nurses on this site who you can talk to.  Please, please seek some help.  Thinking of you and sending a hug your way, we all need help sometimes.  Carol x

Hi Lyndsy10,

I've just seen your post and wanted to send a reply firstly to pass on our condolences for your loss. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be, especially given the responsibility it sounds like you had in caring for your Mum, as well as the difficulties with your family at the moment.

Please keep believing that things will gradually begin to get if not easier then at least more manageable. There is help available too, as Carol has mentioned in her lovely reply to you. Samaritans are available on 116 123 and they can be reached 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, if ever you feel you're struggling and in need of support or someone to speak to. Do call them if ever things feel especially difficult.

There is also support available for dealing with grief. Have a look at the organisation Cruse - they have a number of helpful resources on their website, as well as a helpline. Sometimes it helps to talk and to know you're not alone, especially if you feel you don't have many others around you who you feel you can talk to.

I know this is easier said than done but try not to look back with regret. It can be easy to focus on the negative things or the things we wish we'd done better, but I'm sure you did a wonderful job in caring for your Mum. If you can, try to reframe your thinking to the more positive memories with your Mum. Even if this starts with just remembering one positive thing a day.

Everyone's experience with grief is difficult and I'm sure it will continue to be tough, but please know we're always here for support if ever you need it. Writing things down can be helpful too and I know there will be others here who have experienced, or are experiencing, something similar.

Take things a day - or an hour - at a time and keep looking after yourself. Do come back to post on here anytime you want to reach out to others.

Wishing you all the best,

Ben
Cancer Chat Moderator