Hello HailHolyQueen and welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry for your loss. It does sound like you were really close to your gran and that you loved her dearly. What you are experiencing at the moment and the fact that you feel you cannot cry is a perfectly normal part of the grieving process. This may come as a surprise to you but as you will read on our Coping with Grief page , it is common to feel numb after the loss of a loved one and this can manifest itself by being unable to cry or express the sadness you do feel inside.

So don't feel guilty about this, it does happen to a lot of people who are grieving someone they loved deeply. I hope that you will hear from some of our members who will be able relate to how you are feeling at the moment and that they will be along shortly to reassure you that what you are feeling at the moment and the fact that you cannot cry is totally normal and doesn't mean at all that you didn't care deeply about your gran. It's just a phase of the grieving process that many on this forum will also have experienced. 

We are thinking of you and all those who were close to your gran during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator