Hi there. I lost my dad 7 weeks ago, not to cancer. He died suddenly in his sleep. This was very unexpected. I felt the need to reply to this as I too feel that it is surreal. You know death eventually is inevitable but somehow you think it will never happen to your parents if that makes sense. I'm very much the same with the outbursts of crying, it happens almost everyday. I'm 33 and feel like I have been robbed of my father. The most important thing is that you loved each other and you both knew that. I hadn't hugged my dad properly for so long, I wanted to keep him in a bubble and protect him from covid. In the end it was all for nothing.

I'm so sorry for our loss, there is nothing anyone can say that will make you feel better. But please take comfort from the fact that he knew you loved him and know he loved you. That is what I'm trying to do. Some people can go a lifetime and not have that, but you and your dad did. Take care xxx

Thanks so much responding it has meant a lot these feelings are awful I keep asking why even though I know it's cancer I think it's worse because I wasn't prepared and it was unexpected because things would have been different if I had known they gave him three month originally but it was 5 weeks and we even thought he might have 5 year because 3 month was if he didn't have treatment x