Cancer Research UK main site

I've lost my wife and soulmate

Jamielle74
Offline

I lost my wife on the 11th July this year she has incurable cancer in her liver and many other medical problems and was in a wheelchair I was her full time carer for the last 8 years as well and looking after our children the youngest of which is 14 I just cannot cope and have nobody I feel I can talk to comfortably I put on a brave face for the kids but I really don't see a point in I the future as without my wife of 22 years what is the point I have returned her medication to the chemist as in the middle of the night the easy way out is really appealing but I know it would make things so much worse for the kids if I did this but I really cannot see a future without my soulmate we moved in together married and had out first bady all within a year of meeting as apart from hospital stays we never spent a night apart from each other and even then I stayed till long after visiting times I just don't know how to go on I put my whole lide into caring for her and now she is gone there don't seem a point in life I cannot get by the though that giving up would be better than living with the pain 

  • Offline

    Hi Jamielle74, welcome to our friendly forum and someone is always here to help and talk through your pain and grief and I'm sure one of our Moderators will also pop on and direct you towards the help you need.  My husband has incurable lung cancer and I care for him alone but I would never give up on my life and my children's because he would be devastated to think he had caused my loss as well to our family.  You're in the depths of despair at the moment and need proper help to talk you through this awful time.  Please, please remember the family you and your wife have had in your life time together and know that she would want you to do the best you can to keep the family together.  I can't help much more but just know someone is always there for you.  Take care and talk to others who can help.  Carol 

  • Hello Jamielle74

    I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your beloved wife earlier this summer. Undoubtedly it's an incredibly difficult time for you all and I'm really glad that you've reached out for help and support. 

    Grief can be overwhelming and I know that we've had many members post here in the past to share the same thoughts and feelings that you've described. Lots of those members have gone on to share how they've found it helpful to talk to a professional about their journey through grief. If you've not already been in touch with a bereavement counsellor then I'd really encourage you to get in touch with Cruse or your local Maggie's centre where you'll find lots of support options available. 
    In those dark hours when you're struggling don't forget that Samaritans are available 24/7, 365 days a year to listen and offer support. 

    You're also most welcome to call our team of nurses to speak to someone for support. They're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Keep in touch with us here on the forum Jamielle74. If it helps to post and offload how you're feeling or to talk with other members then stay in touch. I know that the community will do their best to offer any support that they can. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Offline in reply to Moderator Jenn

    Thank you 

    I've been in touch with the bereavement support but there is a waiting list I have talked with the Samaritans but I don't want to feel that I'm bothering then when there are people who need then more 

  • in reply to Jamielle74

    Please don't feel like you're bothering the Samaritans when you get in touch with them Jamielle. They are there to help anyone who is struggling and are more than happy to talk and listen to what you're going through. 

    However, if you would like to speak with someone else then you could try getting in touch with Silverline. They have a free, confidential helpline that is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week that offers information, support and friendly conversation to anyone aged over 55. Callers are free to express their feelings and describe their lives honestly.

    Hopefully it won't be long until your bereavement support gets under way but whilst you wait I just wanted to mention Sue Ryder. They have an online bereavement community where you can meet others who are struggling with their grief and offer messages of support. Their online bereavement service also offers free and professional video counselling to anyone living in the UK and 18+.

    We're all here for you Jamielle and sending our strength and support your way.

    Kind regards,

    Steph, Cancer Chat Moderator

Speak to a nurse

Quick links

Follow us

Registered with Fundraising Regulator (logo)
Cancer Research UK is a registered charity in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), the Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247). A company limited by guarantee. Registered company in England and Wales (4325234) and the Isle of Man (5713F). Registered address: 2 Redman Place, London, E20 1JQ.