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My dad

Sharron69
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My dad was diagnosed 7 weeks ago with peritoneal metastases with unknown primary 

He was a fit healthy man who was a keen Walker, always looked after himself 

Vomited blood one night which led him to going into hospital, weeks of tests and no primary found but had already spread to the peritoneal 

Our world has been turned upside down he was here enjoying life one min and now he gone

I cant get my head around how life can change in 7 weeks he lost so much weight I've never known weight loss to be overnight like that 

We brought him home and spend the last 5 weeks by his side but thought we had so much longer, even had hopes of some treatment.

Still not found out where the primary was which no longer matters anymore.

I feel so empty and lost has this happened to anyone else ? So many questions yet never know the answers I just hope he wasnt suffering for months before and kept it from us, he said he never had pain and said wasnt keeping things from us but I'm starting to wonder if he said that to protect me and my brother.

Can cancer really happen so quickly without symptoms? 

How do we get over this ? How long will this pain In our hearts last? 

Knowing we will not ever see him or hear his voice again is unbearable 

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    Hi, I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dad in July age 77,  he was in hospital for 21 days then passed away after being transferred to St Bs. We never knew what cancer he had either, they couldn't do biopsy or anything, all we knew is that he had a tumour attached to his lung by the heart. He was given the all clear in April then in June he went rapidly down hill. His best friend, my god father, died in April after being diagnosed only 3 weeks before! They both said they weren't in pain and seemed peaceful at the end. The visible weight loss is shocking but unfortunately part of it. You'll never get over it but its learning to move on and live your life. Grief creeps up on me when I least expect it and little things trigger it. Unfortunately you'll never know the answers but please dont dwell on it or it will eat you up. X

  • Offline in reply to ATAY

    Thankyou and sorry to hear of your loss too

    I am trying to think on the lines of he didn't suffer for months like some unfortunately do, and I do feel so privileged that I got to spend so much time with him and didn't pass alone 

    But I cant get that image how he looked from my head, I start over and over at healthy pics of him but that one comes back and haunts me.

    I know its early days and need to take baby steps throughout all this process,  I tell me self and others the right things yet deep down my heart is well and truly broken, I need my dad and this is so bloody hard not been able to pick up the phone etc x

  • Offline in reply to Sharron69

    Yeah I understand, I took my mum to see dad the day he passed away, I didnt want to see him myself as I wanted the memories of him laughing and high as a kite the day before but I saw him through the door and it's all I see now x

  • Offline in reply to ATAY

    You are right about how it comes over you ,currently sat here sobbing away , I so want to ring my dad just for a chat and knowing I cant is hurting so much

    They say times a healer and it will become the new norm but for me as each day passes it's worse as another day not seeing or speaking with him

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