Not sure how to deal with Anticipatory Grief after terrible

Hi, 
After months of treatment for lung cancer and previous successful bowel cancer, I found out this week that my grandmother whom I'm very close to, has a matter of months to live as the cancer has spread to her liver. 
 

This came as a huge shock to all the family as after her recent round of Chemo she seemed to be almost back to full health so we are all absolutely heartbroken. 
 

I know that it's still raw given it was only a matter of days ago but I am really struggling to come to terms and deal with what is a very harsh reality. I know that there is nothing that can be done but can't help but get waves of feeling completely overwhelmed and often find myself feeling sad about the things she won't be around to see, like me having my first child or getting married. 
 

I suppose I'd just like to know how other people have got through this process? Because she only has a matter of months left, I want to make the most of it but at the moment I haven't even been able to pick up the phone for fear of breaking down. 

  • Don't despair just yet.  My husband of 75 has lung cancer, spread to liver after chemotherapy and radiotherapy and my GP put his hand on my shoulder and said how sorry he was, I was so upset thinking it was the end but his oncologist decided to offer immunotherapy and he has responded well to it and the liver cancer has gone.  So ring her and see how she is and ask what treatment they have suggested for her.  Obviously I don't know how bad it may be but she will understand how you feel.  I have three grandchildren and would rather they called and cried than be sad and worried about me.  Call her and it doesn't matter if you cry, she loves you and you her, that's how it should be.  Take care, Carol x 

  • I've added you as a friend. I'm going through the same thing with my grandad.

    sending you love and strength xxx