In the summer of 2019 my step father was diagnosed with stage 3 bladder cancer. Since then he had several operations to control any cancer in his bladder. His last operation in April of this year was not the best after failed spinal injections prior to operation. Ever since this his health declined as did his mobility. On the 9th of June I took him to A&E in Manchester as he had requested. He never got much better and his mobility became less and less as he was unable to walk once in hospital or even get out of bed without help.
He complained of pain in his back, and had recurent bladder infections and blocked bowels. He was moved in late June to a rehabilitation centre run by the NHS. I so much wanted him home even at this point but knew he was not well enough to come home. He developed later what we found out was pneumonia and had been given hardly any information from the hospital except from xrays that diagnosed mestasis of the spine although there had been no growth between the different MRI scans done.
In the early hours of the 16 July i got a call to say Jack had passed away in the night. Due to the circumstances the cornoner recommened a post motem which revelaed his cause of death was Pulmonary Ebolism and DVT and bladder cancer carcinoma. He died with Pneumonia also but not of it. Ever since them i have felt guilt that i took him to A&E and allowed him to go in to that facility. I had phoned them on several occasions to complain how i felt my dad sounded on the phone when speaking to me and my mum. I have contacted PALS to requests what precautions had been in place if any to prevent these tragic events happening as he was at risk from mobility and cancer of getting DVT.
I have felt terrible for not doing more and that me and my mum could not say a final farewell either. He was due the day he died to see a specialist oncologist. The horrible part was both social services and the hospital and his consultants only real concern was to have him discharged home with a hospital bed in the dining room with other equipment also. Something which never happened . That would have been so hard to see.
Not a day goes by I don't think about it and have a little cry although my mum has taken it much better. The covid19 madness deprived me of spending some more time with Jack as he lived far from my home. Never did he want to be a burdon or worry his family and i think he covered much up. He will always be with me in my heart and hopefuly in spirit.
