Hi there

I an really sorry to hear about your Mum. I lost my Mum in March to pancreatic cancer. 

I absolutely feel where you are coming from. As I lived an 8h drive away, I packed my bags and gave up everything to move home a couple of weeks after getting the diagnosis. Once she passed I knew I didn't want to stay and wanted to go back. I left 6 weeks later. I don't regret my decision and until a couple of days before I was meant to go back I was fine with going back. But suddenly it hit me that I was leaving her and her grave, which I visited every Sunday for a chat.

So her is my advice on what I did to help myself without even knowing it. Moving back and organising stuff was my little getaway or project. Over the last months I have learnt that having a little project helps to escape from the change that is going on. Because since March I feel like something is changing every week! I've spent hours walking through furniture shops. I just needed to occupy my mind with something that had no meaning whatsoever. Perhaps if you could find yourself you're own little meaningless project it might take off the edge.

All I know is that I have no specific triggers. Sometimes things set me off and I can be in bed all weekend and other times the same situation might not affect me. There just isn't a way of knowing how you'll feel. I don't mean to scare you, but this isn't a situation with a plan. All you can do is try and if it doesn't work out don't beat yourself up about it.

Take care x

So sorry to read the loss of your mum. It is very difficult making that 1st step back into the home they once where and I totally understand your dad must be feeling very lost as well.

My mum sadly passed away in January sadly dad didn't get to see her before as he was non weight bearing in rehab so after 61 years marriage I had to hold the phone whilst he said goodbye, I can't begin to explain how that ripped me apart. They were due to move into a bungalow together and he decided to go ahead with the move. It's not been easy especially for him and it will always be known as their bungalow but dad needed us as much as we needed him. Especially as I got diagnosed with breast cancer in March. 

Your dad will know its not going to be easy for you, and you will shed tears. We all miss my mum dearly but we talk of her with fondness of what she loved, the garden,, her grandchildren etc. 

Grief affects everyone different there is no right or wrong. Contact Cruse for counselling and support.

Look after yourself 

Xxx