Hello Zoe

I just wanted to reply to your post. I can hear in what you've written how much pain you're dealing with at the moment. Grief is a natural process but it can be absolutely devastating. 

I don't know from your posts if you've ever had any counselling and I'd really encourage you to reach out for some support. It may be that there is a local charity or hospice that's able to help but if not then have a look at the website for an organisation called Cruse. 

Keep posting here Zoe if it helps. There are many members who understand the pain that comes with losing a loved one and I'm sure they will offer any support that they can. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator