The ttile says it all really. My girlfriend's mom has a dibilitating tumour. She is Irish, her parents are back in Ireland and we're in London. Her dad let her know it was bad so she's gone home for a bit, and she's shocked by how bad it's gotten. She barely recognizes her mother, who is failing physically and mentally. She is overracked with guilt about being away, and not helping her Dad care more. She's going to give them a months' paycheck for help modifying the house more accesible - I'm totally behind this, it's her money and nothing is more important - but doesn't know what else to do. She thinks she needs to be there more and I told her I was more than willing to downsize and get a small place in her parents village to split time. Our work would be accomodating to this and she feels like she needs to have her own space to recharge so she can come back to her parents fresh and happy and not stay there and get depressed.

I'm writing because I have no idea what to say or how to help. I keep telling her we will get through this, and that I'm there for her, and that we can be flexibl and making it clear that I will drop everything. I love her folks, she knows I'm genuine, but it feels so cheap. She tells me her mom can't work and all I can say is "I can only imagine how hard that is, I'm here for you."

Can someone please tell me something more so I can help her? they're very proud - when I talk to them no one is willing to admit they need help. My girlfriend's dad someitmes texts me and asks me to check up on her, but other than that there is nothing I can do besides tell her I'm here for here while her mother dies in front of her eyes. They're an one-child family and very close - please help me help her.