Hi all,
I was just wanting to vent my upset and frsutration and hoping someone may have some tips.
I lost my mum 8 months ago to ovarian cancer. She had cancer for 7 years. I'm 29 and she was 65 years old. 8 months on and although some of the initial shock has gone away the grief is still as difficult as ever.
I've been with my partner for 4 years. She has never dealt with loss to such an extent. I understand this and I don't expect her to fix things, this whole situation is unfixable but I do feel extremely let down by the person I would like the most love and support from.
I went back to work one month after my mum passed which I found beyond difficult but I did it. I drank a little bit more than what I would usually do in the initial months but I have completely cut down. I've gone back to the gym and for the last 2 months I've been really focussing on trying to get back to a the best state of mind possible and I feel as if I've come along way.
My partner, however seems to relish any opportunity to put me down. I've explained to her time and time again that I am still unsure myself on what actually helps, if anything. But I know the things that don't. I hate hearing things like she is no longer suffering etc because I feel nobody should ever have to go through a cancer death to start with. I'm an extremely strong person. But I would just appreciate a bit of TLC. Nothing fancy, just maybe like my favourite meal when I get back from work or a bubble bath run. However I feel as if I've had to stay strong and try and remain exactly the same person that I was before I lost my mum to suit my girlfriend. I've really tried hard for this to affect my partner as little as possible but I'm extremely vulnerable and I'm just heartbroken my girlfriend cannot see this. I have told her how deep down I am struggling but it falls on deaf ears.
I love my partner dearly and the idea that in a period filled with loss I may be about to lose her too destroys me. I know this is just complete immaturity on her part ( she is 32) but I did think that she would maybe see how hard I have tried to carry on with things like my Mum would've wanted, but instead I just feel as if this has been an opportunity for her to put me down and belittle me for not being stronger.
I really do want to fix this. Would appreciate some words of advice from anyone. x
