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One month on

Si_in_the_north
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Hi folks,

 

Haven't been here for a while, so I thought that i would check in.

It was my 50th birthday on Thursday and today is 1 month since Debs died.

It's been both a tortuously long month and a lightening quick month.

My 2 kids are amazing, I'm so full of admiration in the way in which they are coping and they help me so much too. Other days are really difficult, my birthday for example - I had been looking forward to a big 50th bash since my 40th, but instead I took myself into the Yorkshire Dales alone with Debs in my heart. I cried lots of tears, but it was good.

Back to work on Monday - it will be nice to be able to be Simon the Operations Manager for a few hours instead of Simon the bloke whose wife died.

Life goes on and yet I feel so hollow - on step at a time as I wander this tortuous road.#

 

Love to you all.

Simon

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    Just want to say, your being a dad in a million ... kids are stronger then we think with us holding their hands through their life and using gentle honesty ...

    And you and your journey has been in my thoughts ... many a hill to climb ... but oh so slowly just keep putting one foot in front of the other ... and know sometimes it's o.k , not to be o.k ... sending you a vertual nanny hug that I know my granddaughter wouldn't mind me sharing .... Chrissie x

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    Thinking of you and your two beautiful children Simon.

    I'm glad you managed to find some "good" on your birthday. As we all know on this forum, growing older is a privilege denied to so many. I'm sure it was an especially tough day for you.

    Take good care,

    J xxx

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    Simon,

    My husband died 6 weeks ago and it was our wedding anniversary on Thursday.  I spent most of the morning in bed, in tears, (with the dog!), the afternoon avoiding any phonecalls and just wanting to be with my thoughts. Back in bed as early as possible to try and put a close to the day.

    Good luck with going back to work on Monday, hope it helps you to pass the time and get back to some 'normality'

    Tess

     

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    Hi Si 

    I was just checking in to see how you are. Your children will help to keep you going.  Your birthday would have been hard but sounds good you had a day to yourself with your thoughts. I think I would be the same. It's strange how we identify ourselves, by our occupation or what's going on in personal life. I hope the time as Simon the Operations Manager gave you some sense of normality. 
    I feel I'm in a bubble of normality, the outside is normal but inside is very different. 
    My husband has one more chemo session, I'm mixed about it finishing as I'll be glad the treatment is done but it also means time is rolling on. He was told Approx 12 months from March. 
    it is indeed a tortuos road and the old cliche only time helps to cope better and ease the hollow pain. 
    Don't rush things give yourself all the time you need with no expectations of how you should be. 
    sending you warm wishes

     take care 

    Sydie x

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