Hi,
I haven't posted on here in a while. My dad died in December - so it's been just over seven months and I can see and feel how people are moving on and losing interest. I do feel as though i'm out of the 'initial shock' but sometimes it hits me all over again. All I can think about at the moment is that time will keep passing by without him here. I'm going to Oxford uni in September and dad won't be there and the people I meet won't have met him or understand how much it still affects me each day.
I don't think it will get easier over time but it's definitely changed a lot over these past few months. Sometimes i'm scared about forgetting him or his voice and when I think about how he suffered and how unfair it is I can't stand it. I've never really been friends with people my age (19) because I get on with people a few years older mostly, and i'm nervous to go to uni with teenagers who (mostly) have their parents, who didn't do the interviews all by themselves a few days after their dad died, and who probably won't be very interested because they don't know me or my dad and how much it hurts rhat I can't have him here. I know these are quite specific things and i'm ranting but i'm scared about how time is going and what this means for our grief.
