Hi [@LucyPB]‍ 

Are you planning on spending the day with anyone on Monday so that you aren't on your own?

I don't have much advice to give as I lost my Mum 7 weeks ago and haven't yet been through a holiday or occasion without her, but I am absolutely dreading the first one. I completely empathise with how you're feeling right now. The thought of celebrating anything without her breaks my heart. My Mum loved birthdays and Christmas and would be the life of the party and I can't imagine what they'll be like without her.

Is there anything you can do that could honour your Mum on Monday? Maybe visit somewhere she liked to go so that she can be there with you in a way? Is there a birthday tradition you had with her that you can keep going? I know it will be hard as you will just want her there to give you a big hug but I'm sure your lovely Mam wouldn't want you to be sad on your special day. I now wear a locket with my Mum's picture in it so that she can be with me wherever I go and it does provide me with some comfort. Whenever I'm feeling sad, I'll just hold onto it, take deep breaths and think of her and how I want to live my life fully for her as that's what she would have wanted.

At the end of the day, I know that grief is different for everyone and what helps some won't be helpful to others so try to be kind to yourself and don't push yourself to do anything you don't feel like doing on the day. But maybe try to do something that makes you happy and make sure that you're not on your own all day? It's important to grieve but it's also equally important to allow yourself to take a break from grieving and find some joy where you can.

Take care and happy birthday for Monday.

J xxx

Hi [@Dexter123]‍ 

I have decided to work on Monday just to keep my mind busy, I don't really feel like celebrating. I'm more excited for the football to be honest haha. I'm sorry to hear about your Mum, it really is the worst pain I've ever had to go through and am still going through, some days are much worse than others. My Mam was exactly the same, she used to love Christmas soooo much and when it snowed she lost her mind! And birthdays she would always make me tea or a Sunday dinner! Maybe that's something I could do on Monday, pester my dad to make me tea instead! You're absolutely right, she wouldn't want me to be sad on my birthday it's just going to be so strange without her. Finding a new normal is the most difficult thing. Thank you so much for replying and look after yourself xxx