Hi Zoe, next Friday will be a year since my dad died. Everytime I type that out or see it written I want to cry. I still can't believe it and I miss him so much. I'm still in so much pain. Life is so horribly unfair. It's so cruel that we are just expected to go on as normal when the pain is still as strong. I think about hugging him and just talking to him one more time and it makes me cry inconsolably. I don't know if there's any way to get over it, sometimes it feels like this and sometimes it's not as bad. It helps me to see other people in my situation. Especially as I was only 19 when I lost him, most people I know cannot relate in the slightest. It makes me slightly resentful of everyone around me who doesn't realise how lucky they are and how hard it can be. I hate that there's so much he'll miss and I hate that he won't know me as I grow up into an adult. I also can't shake the feeling that the more time will pass, the less I'll remember him. And I can't bare thinking about a time when I won't remember every detail about him. It pains me so much to see my mum living by herself now while I'm at university, I feel so bad for her and there's nothing I can do. I just wish everything was normal again