Oh Paul, what can I say to that? My heart goes out to you - it is a terrible hand that you have been dealt. Words just aren't enough in times like these and all I can do is to virtually stand with you.

I am potentially in a similar place, my wife is 44 and has been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the bile duct. She is in hospital at the moment and I miss her so, even though I hope that she will be home in a few days. She has just had her first round of chemo and we have hope that it will push the cancer back and, whilst she can't be cured, that we can kick the can down the road, but it is stage 4, it is aggressive and it has really ran riot in her Liver especially, so we are in a grim place.

I too have 2 young children, a boy of 9 and a girl of 7 and I am dreading the day that I need to tell them just how serious the situation is and, if it comes to pass, how they will cope with losing their Mummy at such a young age - like I say, words are not enough.

At this moment I am getting such strength from family and friends and I am sending love and strength to a fellow traveller to help you to get through this trial and to be there for your beautiful girls who need their Dad.

In solidarity!

Simon

Thanks for replying Simon. I hope that you are coping as best as you can and are getting any help you need. Im remembering everything that was going through my mind when I was in your position. Emma had several tumours in her liver. If I remember correctly 1 was 5 cm and the chemotherapy helped massively. We were astonished because after her first course of chemo the next scan showed that it had reduced down to almost nothing and some of the others had gone. We tried everything, we changed her diet, we even tried cannabis oil but with all the other drugs she was on it made her very sleepy. 

Please keep your friends close and don't push them away like I did. Looking back I was in a really bad place and I said some nasty things ruined long term friendships but then I think if they were any kind of friends they'd of been more understanding!! I have apologises but I guess my tounge cut to deeply. 

When we decided we had to tell the girls what was happening it was one of the worst days of my life but they have been really strong since. You will be amazed how resilient children are. Don't get me wrong they have there moments and I'm thinking it's going to affect them more as they get older. I've just had to help Ruby get through her periods and it's times like them I needed Emma here. I like to think I've done a good job but in a man's fashion.

I hope and pray that everything will workout for your wife, you and your children. 

Take care

Paul

Hi Paul,

Thank you for your reply - it sounds like you have done an amazing job in the most difficult of circumstances - helping your girls through all of the stages of life without your wife, its terrible to find yourself there, but I'm sure you've done your wife proud.

I do worry about how the future may pan out (this morning i worried about doing my daughters hair, i can just about manage a poor pony tail, my wife does platts and all sorts of other styles) but, like you whatever happens, I have no choice and i just need to do the best i can for my wife and kids.

Keep strong.

Si