Hi Newlife,

Sincing losing my mum I often find myself crippled with anxiety and being very emotional. Days where I am left alone or without activities (such as work, etc) is where I am at my worst. My mum would not want me to halt my life and that's is what I keep telling myself - it is just so hard.

I am hoping that your therapy goes well and remember that you are not alone.

Hugs x

[@crisp_21]‍ 

I'm really sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, and thank you for taking the time to reply to me when you're feeling just as anxious as I am, I genuinely appreciate it so much. It's really beyond words tough isn't it, somedays it's unbearable. We will get through it though, our mum's will make sure we do. 

Sending a huge amount of love to you. Xxx

Hi [@Newlife101]‍ , I hope you remember me we have spoken a couple of times over the last couple of months. I want you to know it's perfectly normal how you have been feeling with anxiety. What you have described is exactly how I have been feeling. I didn't leave the house until this week, it was my first week back at work, like you I have been so anxious about bumping into people and I've avoided going out so I don't come across that situation. But, I know at some point I have to do it, my mum was a much loved person so there will be people that show there concerns, but they are doing it out of kindness. I was so worked up with the thought of going back this week, but actually it wasn't as bad as I thought, I'm a hairdresser so involves a lot of talking and my clients knew the reason why I have been off work, some have asked, some have not spoke of her, but what I have realised is, is that alot of people do have respect and are very thoughtful. In my therapy session, we discussed how good it is to talk, and as much as I have avoided talking about mum, it's actually helped me this week talking about her, I have only had one bad day this week. Try and take little baby steps, tell yourself you can do this, you can talk about mum, she was a very loved person so people will mention her, but it will always be in a nice way which I found warming, put yourself in that position to "test" yourself, like the local shop where you might see someone, go back home with a cup of tea and I bet you will say to yourself "that weren't as bad as I thought", once you get over that first hurdle, you will be fine. You are a strong person and you will get through this. Sending you big hugs xxx

[@Asmit88]‍ 

Of course I remember you! Thank you for replying to me. I'm sorry you have been feeling this way too, but I find it very comforting that I am not the only one. My family think that my anxiety is really strange and I feel a constant feeling of not feeling settled. When I think about it, I know it's because my mum would always have been there during these periods for me to reassure, and now it feels like I'm very much alone, I think the short period between my mum being okay, to having been diagnosed and then passed away was so short I just find it hard to understand how it's all happened, but you're right. Small baby steps will help. .

You sound so brave, and I have no doubt your mum will be looking down on your so proud. Sending lots of love, and thank you for sharing where you're at, it's really felt like a big virtual hug to know that I'm not alone XXXX

[@Asmit88]‍ 

Thank you so much, because at times I feel like I am experiencing emotions that a lot of people can't relate too. I'm not crying 24/7 but I just feel so unsettled so I really appreciate you reassuring me, although I do wish you weren't experiencing it too. It's really so horrendous. 

It is bereavement therapy, it is helping me as I'm able to share how I'm feeling without judgement at all. I just wish my mum was here to give me a cuddle and say you're going to be okay! I think you're so right, the last week, or two for you were so traumatic I would sit with my mum, then go to the toilet in the hospice and cry eyes out as I didn't want her to worry about me, those are the feelings I can't shift but like you say, our mums will be watching us and guiding us through it. I think they will have left us with the strength they had during diagnosis and the final days. 

Lots of deep, deep breaths is what I've been trying to do/say to myself when it feels like it's a lot xxxx