I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

I can only describe the loss as pure hell. 
my Dad died just after Christmas with Covid. 
He was more than a Dad he was my best friend. He had the answers to any problems. And was always there fir all of us. 
I can't accept that he's gone. His mind was sharp. I just thought he would get better. I feel like my soul has been removed. I can't see a future with out him. 
After he passed me and my brothers went back to Dads and one of my brothers was straight away going on about how much the house is worth. Disgusting. I don't care what the house is worth. Needless to say we have fallen out. Which makes things worse I wanted him to tell us that everything is going to be alright as he's the oldest. It's really hard to deal with work with all this sadness. I feel anxious, I don't feel safe. My adult son has autism and my Dad helped me bring him up. I have realised that we are now very alone. It's frightening. I don't leave my flat unless absolutely necessary. I either sleep for long periods of just survive on a few hours. Very hard to come to terms with the fact that I won't ever see him again. 
I hope that you all can find a way through it.