Hi [@drw]‍  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mum, it's one of the most hardest things to go through. I lost my mum 6weeks ago. I might not be much help, but I will give you my experience so far. what you are going through is exactly what I'm experiencing aswell. What I have come to realise is, is that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, everyone is different. I have changed over the last 6weeks, I was so numb like you for the first 2weeks, and then I hit a really low patch, but then I had some therapy alongside medication, (I struggle with anxiety/depression) and now few weeks later I do feel a lot better. I was advised by the hospice that they would get in touch about bereavement support 6-8 weeks after mum passed, as this is the time when it's most needed, i think that that is probably roughly when the grieving starts after the shock. I'm having good days and bad days at the minute, and in time, there will be more good days than the bad. You might possibly be different to how I am, but I have found that talking about mum and looking at pictures has helped me a lot. I do hope you will be ok, and I am always here if you need to chat. I'm sending you a massive hug.

take care xxx

Thank you for replying. It means a lot. I'm really struggling to accept it. I keep thinking to myself 'I wonder when she'll be coming home' even though I know she died. I just can't compute everything. My wife is due with our second child in 2 weeks which I was so hoping my mum would meet. She kept saying it was what she pushing for. I just hope I don't let my wife down and be a complete wreck nearer the time. My head hurts in a weird way when I try and tell myself my mum isn't coming back but I just can't accept it. I find it hard seeing my dad as he and my mum were the bestest of friends. I can see he is broken by this but won't ever tell us anything. I don't feel I can talk to him about it as I don't wish to burden him. I don't want to see anyone other than my brothers and their families and my wife, my kids and my dad. I'm ignoring all my friends and other family members as I don't want see anyone. I went back to work on Tuesday and she only died on Saturday. I don't know if that is too soon but I felt like I needed to and I couldn't let my customers down any longer. This all feels like a weird dream that I really want to end! All I can think is a cuddle from my mum would sort everything out.