Hi Emma,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear that you lost your mum recently and offer my sincere condolences. I lost my own mum to secondary breast cancer 24 years ago and I still miss her sorely. It is so heartbreaking to watch a loved one suffer when there is little we can do to help.

It is still early days for you. Grief varies from person to person and is not something that we can just turn off. It is a process with different stages. You will always miss your mum, but you will carry her with you in your heart forever.  I had the random outbursts for some time after mum died, but they gradually lessened and it did gradually get easier to cope.

I found that keeping a nice photo of her in a prominent place in the house was and stiil is, a great help. I often found myself talking to her as I passed by. I can totally relate to your need to tell her something or being upset when you see something that she would have liked.

I am sure that your mum, like mine, would hate to see you upset at her passing. I am not a religious person, but I do feel that mum is watching over me. What has kept me going is trying to live to the standards that my mum instilled in me and striving to make her proud of what I and my family achieve.

Your post is fine. You can ask any questions or just chat to others who have experience of your situation. At the moment your tears act as a release valve, so are not such a bad thing. With time your tears will dry and you will get on with your life, as your mum would have wanted for you. At the moment there will possibly be anger in your emotions and questions like 'why did she have to leave me?'. Eventually, you reach an acceptance that this has happened and it gradually becomes easier.

Some people find it helpful to resort to grieg counselling, but it is for you to decide whether or not you need this. You might find it helpful to look up the various stages of grief online, as this could give you some insight into how far you've got to go before you begin to come out of the 'fog' that you describe.

Please keep in touch and remember that, no matter how bad things may seem, we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank You Jolamine x

Hi Emma,

Please remember that we are always here for you.

kind regards,

Jolamine xx