Loosing mom and dad to cancer within 9 years.

In 2012 I lost my dad at 71 to prostrate cancer he had been ill for about 8 years.

I was rushed back to work after 2 weeks one of them being holiday pre booked at that time to as people needed holiday coverage and the needs of the business. 

I lost my mom to colon cancer at 80 n 19th of April 2021 both were nursed at home I'm finding it difficult to process how to feel I didn't want my mom to suffer anymore she  did in the last few weeks.

As my mind is  clearing I'm more angry with work I was fully upfront with HR from mom's terminal diagnoses in November 2020 I may need to go part time I was assured this would be a subject to be spoken about at the appropriate time. 

Having returned from furlough in September 2020 I was asked to do another job which I agreed until the end of December 2020 I was asked to go back to my old job in sales on my first meeting back I did again explain my situation about mom and how uncertain the next few months would be for my family. 

As mom started to get complications water infections being admitted to hospital I approached them to say can you please furlough me which I was told not an option HR asked if once I had carers  in would I consider pt few hrs a day I said I do not know  I was so confused and upset. 

I was then offered unpaid compassionate leave which I said no to as a couldnt afford to not have a wage. 

I then approached my son who is still on furlough working 2 days a week if he would help me care for mom so I approached work said I can work 3  full days with the support of my son.

We had a meeting and it was discussed that there were not pt positions in my role and I would be expected to go to the job I had returned to after furlough on minimum wage. 

It was accepted that got told it was short term until a replacement for me could be found which was told would be easy due to job market this ended up being about 6 weeks as I was told that no one had applied but 1 person who he was to interview next day this was on the Monday exactly a week b4 my mom died I was told we will take it week by week is that OK? 

I was advised that in that week the person was given a 2nd interview and given my job and started on Monday as I had to return to the other job. 

 

 

 

 

 

  • Hello 1973

    I'm so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Mum as well as the death of your Dad. It sounds like it's been a very difficult time for you and I'm sorry that you've not had the support that you had hoped for from your employer. 

    I wanted to signpost you towards two organisations that may be able to give you help and support with all that you've experienced. The first is a charity called Cruse who offer bereavement support counselling and may be able to help you unpick and begin to process all that has happened. The other organisation that you may want to get in touch with is Acas who are able to offer impartial advice on workplace rights, rules and best practice. 

    I hope that you're able to find some support to move forward with things and decide what the next steps forward may be for you. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator