Missing my husband

I lost my husband 2 weeks ago , I just can't accept he's gone we were together every single day for 10 years and we were
still in love . We were so compatible we  never hardly argued , he was my life we had a son who is only 4 and has autism, my husband was so protective of him , I don't know how I am going to live without him i feel like I'm in a black hole and all I want is him , he had  cancer but the hospital really let him down they  failed to tell us any thing was suspicious although I found out a few days ago the report they sent my GP was a lot more detailed and stated he had suspicious legion in his colon , he had a colonoscopy in November and they couldn't complete it , was meant to call him back and didn't , we assumed they wasn't concerned as he never had symptoms, by February he had to have surgery as the tumor had caused a blockage and he died a few weeks later as the surgery was too much for him as he had COPD , I'm so angry at the hospital on top of everything else I just want him back I don't want to live without him 

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  • Hello KerryW123; I am sorry to read your post. Even if in the long term it would not have helped he could at least have been given a chance.  I know the feeling of what ifs..... but it doesn't help at all to dwell on it.  I lost a loved one 18 months ago and although I try not to dwell on what could and/or should have been done.  I look for his voice and his cursing his football  team when it didn't play well.  There is no short cut and I try to tell myself that I wouldn't have missed out on many years of happiness so perhaps I should have been grateful for that.    Your loss is very early days and I hope you have some support and friendship.  I try to tell myself I had a great deal of love and not everyone gets that.  Someties you should cry when you want to, talk about him as much as you want.  In my experience it is still taking a long time to knock a bit off the hurt.  The lockdown was awful - I had just started going to a bereavement group - I have no family near me - but after the first meeting the pandemic descended on us all and the meetings had to stop.  You should accept any help and frienship that is offered to you.  You will feel that nothing will improve and there is nothing left to live for - but try to remember the good times and the fact that you made each other happy.  I realise that this post is perhaps not much help to you.  I don't know if you would find it helpful to talk to the hospital to hear what they have to say but do remeber it is possible that it would not have changed the outcome.  Please do keep in touch if you would like to chat with other people here; there has been a lot of loss on these columns.  Anneliz xx

  • Thank you for your message I just feel so cheated I honestly believe he would still be with me had we known back in November. I feel so lost without him and  I miss him more than anything we were together all the time it all happened so fast and I still can't believe he's gone 

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