I miss my mum so much

My mum passed away on the 31st March, from a short battle with Advanced bowel cancer. She was diagnosed in February 21, and deteriorated quickly after that. She was 55 when she passed away, and I am 27. 
When I think of potentially living the next 30-40 years without her, I feel overwhelmed with grief. I miss her so much. I miss being able to talk to her and see her. It's been the longest I've ever gone without talking to her or seeing her, and I don't want to do it for the rest of my life. 
I've gone back to work, and although it distracts me to an extent. I feel like something is missing. I don't know how I will do life without her. It's not about doing life without her, I don't want to either. Is it bad, I don't even care about living anymore? 
What's worse, I feel like I have so much grief left in me, I don't know how to get it all out. I just feel weird. 
I don't know how to move forward. I feel like someone has ripped a part of me out, and I can't function with it. 
I just can't believe, my beautiful mum is gone. I look at her pictures, and it's like I've almost forgotten she had cancer and she was very poorly. I just remember how she was before her illness. My god I miss her so much. 

  • I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your mum much too young. This is still so recent and raw for you and you must still be in shock. Please be gentle on yourself these are very early days and ask others for help if you need it, I hope you have friends or family you can turn to. Mums have a special place in our hearts, I lost my mam suddenly in 2019 and went through every emotion including anger and despair. I still miss her so much but know that she would have wanted me to live a good life and be happy, I'm sure your mum would want the same for you but I know it will be hard for quite a while. Please don't be afraid to ask for counselling as it can really help and know that there is still light and life and hope out there x

  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm 53 and I lost my Mum in January 2021, and I feel exactly the same way you do. I spent every single day of my life with her, and now I'm completely lost and alone. 

  • So sorry to hear to about your mum 

    please stay strong and look out for the signs your mum is sending you .

    my daddy past last month and was only diagnosed last February too so I know how your feeling . I don't think we got enough time to deal with the cancer and it happen all too quick .

    im glad to hear your back at work it definitely helps the head to not be doing overtime .

    i try and keep meself busy and keep talking to my daddy I'm a 35 few years older than you and I can understand the feelings your having . We are gonna miss them so much and feel they are gonna miss out on so much if we keep talking about them we are keeping them alive in our memories and our every day lives .

    please keep talking to people and don't be keeping everything bottled up there's always someone to listen to us 

     

    take care 

  • Hi RSxo, 

    I've just seen your post.  How are you keeping now?  It's a difficult journey I know.  My mum passed away on the 1st march 2021 aged 60 yrs, she also had a very short illness, only 12 weeks.  I miss her every day, I've cried at memories, laughed at memories and felt upset at myself for things I didn't say or do. My little children adored her and I'm devastated she won't see them become adults.  I was  just sitting here today on a lazy Sunday with an ache in my heart thinking how much I miss her when I decided to join this forum and your post was the first I saw.  I hope your coping, I ask God every day to comfort me and my family.