Struggling to deal with the loss of my grandmother

Offline RyanR over 4 years ago

As the title suggests, I am currently dealing with the deal of my grandmother who passed away suddenly today at the age of 70. She was diagnosed with small cell lung cancer all but 2-3 weeks ago. I was kind of expecting to loose her, as the doctor mentioned how severe and advanced the cancer was. However, I really wasn't expecting to loose her so soon. I wanted more time with her, its really just been a massive shock to the system.

Growing up she was like my second mother, my dad wasn't around when I was younger (I am 21 now) so she raised me, along side of my mother and grandfather. She ended up being released from hospital about a week after the cancer diagnosis, but she went back in about a week later due to pneumonia.

Of course I would of loved more time with her, but I take comfort in the fact that I know she is no longer suffering. It was killing me to watch her unable to move, unable to even sit up right. She didn't deserve that, she was always putting others above herself.

I just wanted to know if anyone has any advice for how to deal with it, because I am really at my breaking point. I just miss her so much

Offline Moderator Lucie over 4 years ago

Hello RyanR,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It must have been a huge shock to you as she was only diagnosed with small cell lung cancer a few weeks ago. Our sincere condolences to you and your family on behalf of the Cancer Chat team. Our thoughts are with you during this difficult time. It does sound like she was an amazing lady and that she took good care of you when you were younger.
You are right to take comfort from the fact that she is no longer suffering. It is normal to feel that the pain is unbearable after losing someone you loved so deeply. There is information on our website on this page to help you cope with grief. It will also explain to you what you are currently going through and that it is normal to be experiencing these complex and overwhelming feelings.
If you do feel that things get too much for you, do speak to your GP about it who will give you some helpful suggestions on how to access grief counselling, for example.
You have come to the right place though to speak to others who have also lost a loved one recently to cancer and I am sure they will be along shortly to share their experience with you. I hope that you are ok. We're all here for you whenever you feel you need to talk.
Best wishes,
Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator
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Struggling to deal with the loss of my grandmother

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