Returning to work after passing away of my mother.. help ple

Hi all

My mum passed away last week with a very short space between diagnosis and her not being here. I have been off for three weeks, one of which was when she was bought home from hospital, then readmitted 2 days later. 

We have been told today we cannot hold her funeral until the 8th April, which has made me feel so anxious because it's like the final thing, and I've been feeling very emotional about even thinking and organising it.

Given it's a month between, I am looking for some advice as to when to go back to work? Should it be before the funeral? Or after? At the moment I spend most of my days feeling utterly exhausted, and just staring at the wall which I know sounds strange but it's true! I feel like if I continue doing this for another month before we finally say goodbye, it may damage my mental health further. Has anyone else felt like this? 

Any advice would be so appreciated. Thank you ️

  • Hi (K80ey), I just lost my mum too - 31/5.  Had her funeral on Friday just gone.  I agree with what 'Newlife101' said above - I feel like this is just the start now - a new life without our mums!  I've logged onto work today (from home) for the first time properly since she got ill on the 31/3.  I spoke to her every day and she came round every Sunday, I do have a husband and kids so they do keep me busy...but there is now a big hole that she once filled.  I'm the same as you...feel like I need a new routine - I said when she got ill and had to go into hospital and surrounded by all the illness that I would get into exercise more, live more, do more - but currently its an effort to stop staring into space and eating chocolate!!  I'm thinking about doing a challenge - perhaps do something for charity -  a walk, or run, or cycle or something - a focus.  I have been invited to a 90 minute support session from the hospice she was in, so I'm going to attend that (I'm not keen on these things but have heard that they help, so will give it a go).  I know it gets better with time, my dad died 16 years ago, and so I do know time heals - it just feels more painful this time round. xxx