Hi 18 weeks ago I lost my big sister. She got cancer in 2017 and beat it then last May it came back and she died in oct. She was my everything. Always knew what to do always minded me minded everyone in the family. Now I'm trying to mind our parents and other sister as well as being a mum and wife and work and thought I had it all in order but the last 2 weeks I'm falling apart. I miss her like crazy the heartache is killing me I'm getting to the stage I can't keep smiling for everyone. I want to get into bed and never get out. Did it only hit anyone else after a few months. I don't know what to do. Because with her gone I'm now everyone's rock but she was able for it and I'm finding I'm not