Hello mate I'm so sorry for your loss it's horrible cancer I lost my wife to breast cancer the 22nd of December last year she left me a nine-year-old and a two-year-old to look after it's tough I understand what you mean by feeling empty i'm the same i'm here if you fancy a chat

Hi,  that must be so hard having  young children as well. I don't know how people cope with the feeling of injustice and loss it is  just so overwhelming how do you find the strength to pull through . 

The funeral will be perfect for her I'm sure!I was like that today I left my phone at home went to mum and dads soon as I realised I've left my phone at home I was like I've got I'm gonna get loads of missed calls from the wife how crazy is that? Like you say it's also cruel! 
my wife was cremated back in January and I've got her ashes at home on the table if she does want to go to the local cemetery is what she told me before she died and I've been sorting out a headstone for her which is going okay I just didn't think I'd have to be doing this not least for another 40 years

some reason I can't find you on private messaging can you try and find me ?

Hi mate

I'm not to good at that sort of stuff but my sister is coming up tomorrow I will get her to look to see if she can find you.

 I'm here with you mate  hope your ok we can do this 

Good to no mate. We have to get through this as hard as it is I know my partner would not want me to give up so I have to keep strong for her memory but sometimes i just don't know if I can, I had to walk past the funeral directors today where her body is and I just had to turn round I could not even bring myself to walk past I just felt like my heart had been ripped out. I can't believe two weeks ago I had my last conversation with her before macmillian sedated her on the Saturday because the pain was so unbearable for her. Today has been a bad day but I don't suppose I have to tell you that every day is a bad day when you have lost the love of your life.

@KevA‍  Hi Kev, Sorry for the hijack, I hope you don’t mind. I am posting on here after a breast cancer diagnosis just before Christmas. Bear with me, i’ll explain.

I met my wonderful, husband in 2010, almost four years after he had lost his lovely wife to pancreatic cancer, they had been together since 1980 when my husband was 18. She woke up one morning in 2006 and was bright yellow, it transpired her bile duct had collapsed in the night from cancer on the pancreas that had invaded it. They had a very short time together afterwards as you can imagine. We discussed it at length when we met, and have done ever since. He told me of the complete and utter devastation, despair and feeling of empyness and loss having been ‘robbed’ of his beautiful soulmate. He owned his own company at the time and had to close it down as he couldn’t function, he has to this day a missing 6 month gap from her death forwards, the grief was so overwhelming. His mood started and continued for some time with bewilderment at the world, they had no children, so he was on his own and paralysed by grief, nothing to get up for, nothing to live for, grief moves in stages, after the initial bewilderment came questioning - why me? why us? He struggled to function, grief will take you to a myriad of different places, devastating loss, bewilderment, anger, and finally acceptance. This journey for him lasted three years, for some it may never end - on the optimistic side it did for Rio Ferdinand. My hubby was told by a nurse in the hospice that he would go through many ‘stages’, something changes, in time a lighter mood presents itself, and then as she had said, one day it was as if a light bulb popped on, and he knew he was ready to start again. Life will never be the same, but you will in time experience your new normal. We met by chance, I had been divorced 15 years with no intention of actively looking for another partner. We ‘clicked’ immediately. I am posting this purely to show there will be a light in your tunnel, it may take years, but it will be there, but, you have a long way to go Kev. My husband is my soulmate, perhaps his first wife was his, but we are deeply in love and extremely happy. Will our life together have a happy ending? I am battling cancer with every fibre of my soul, I prey to God my husband is not a victim to cancer again. I hope you can get through this, grief is devastating for sure, but most find their ‘happy’ in future years. I hope you, or others don’t view this as a patronising post, it isn’t meant to be, it is merely showing you that you will come through this horrendous time. I am sending a lot of love your way. Take care, Lyn. X

Lynn

I don't see this as patronising I see a message from a kind and loving person . Keep fighting and hopefully you can beat this horrible illness I hope you can and you get to stay with your soul mate  for many more years. Thankyou for your love I understand I have a long road ahead but I will continue to battle because I have the memory of my partner in my heart and all the time I have these memories I have something to live for.

Take care and keep fighting  

Kev x

[@KevA]‍ , Thank you, I certainly will. You have a wonderful attitude to carry you through, especially the love you shared and all those memories, yes the road will be long and bumpy, but it’s a road you have to travel sadly.

I’ll bow out now, and return to my familiar territory in the BC postings, I just wanted to give you my hubbys reflections and perspective as he stood in your shoes all those years ago. Keep on keeping on, all the very best Kev. Lyn. X

Hello mate hope you are doing ok unbelievably my partners dad  died on Saturday just don't know what's happening 

Omg how did what happen? I hope your ok i'm a mess today got to do the school run today which is really hard seeing all the other families together 

He had been ill so no great shock don't think he could cope with losing his daughter think that was just the final straw.  Yes today has been bad I just don't know how to cope with the funeral on Wednesday I keep breaking down .  yes must be hard seeing other families just don't know what to say don't think there is anything to say apart from just keep on going just try to get through day by day  Take care

He had been ill so no great shock don't think he could cope with losing his daughter think that was just the final straw.  Yes today has been bad I just don't know how to cope with the funeral on Wednesday I keep breaking down .  yes must be hard seeing other families just don't know what to say don't think there is anything to say apart from just keep on going just try to get through day by day  Take care

Good luck for Wednesday I'm sure everything will go perfectly I remember you being ever so hard but it was also nice to be with people who understood how important she was so you're doing great i'm here when you fancy a chat I sent you a friend request on here