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Hard Living without my mum

SarahS48
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Hi,

I lost my mum 21st January 2021 to breast cancer. I am 24 years old and my mum was only 55. I know it's hard losing anyone at any age but I can't help feel cheated that I only got 24 years with my mum. (I know I should be greatful as some more get even less)
When she got told she had months to live the one thing she said is that she wanted to see me get my house (I was currently in the process of buying a house) and unfortunately she passed 4 weeks before. The fact she never got her last wish hurts me so bad. I'm also engaged and the thought of actually getting married without her there is so so painful. Everyone is telling me I have so much to look forward to in life and my life is only just starting buts that's not how I see it. I would do anything to go backwards and relive the time I had with my mum. She really was my bestfriend and we had the most amazing relationship. 
Another thing that I'm trying to get to terms with is how after 2 or 3 weeks everyone stops asking how you are or if your okay and just expects everything to be normal again when infact nothing will ever be the same again. For me the more time that goes by the harder it gets. I feel like people don't want to speak about my mum around me because it might be awkward for them but I want to speak about her all the time and keep her memory alive. 
Everything is so difficult at the minute and I am dreading Mother's Day. I just want to see if there's anyone in a similar situation to me or if anyone has been through a similar situation and knows when it gets easier.

Thanks for letting me rant,

Sarah 

Parents
  • Offline

    Hello I'm really sorry for your loss and yes he is very young breast cancer or any cancer sucks I lost my wife to breast cancer 22nd of December last year she was only 39 left me up a two-year-old and a nine-year-old and it's really hard like you say do you wanna go back in time! And people don't wanna talk about your mum anymore because it upsets you and feeling that with the way people don't mention her unless I talk but then I don't wanna get hurt that's why places like this is brilliant because we all kind of know what we're going through

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    Hello I'm really sorry for your loss and yes he is very young breast cancer or any cancer sucks I lost my wife to breast cancer 22nd of December last year she was only 39 left me up a two-year-old and a nine-year-old and it's really hard like you say do you wanna go back in time! And people don't wanna talk about your mum anymore because it upsets you and feeling that with the way people don't mention her unless I talk but then I don't wanna get hurt that's why places like this is brilliant because we all kind of know what we're going through

Children
  • Offline in reply to Chris2020

    Hi Chris,

    So extremely sorry to hear about your wife. That must be so hard for you with two young children. All I can say is your bond will become stronger with your children after going through all of this! I feel as though I have become a lot closer to my dad as we have to help each other through this difficult time.

    I agree people only talk to me when I mention my mum first but then I feel like I'm getting on people's nerves or attention seeking when I bring her up but it's just my way of dealing with her loss is talking about her and feeling like she's closer to me.

     

  • Offline in reply to SarahS48

    Hi Sara thanks for your message

    If it helps I'd love to hear all the things about your mum sometimes it might be easier to talk to a complete stranger I know when I talk about my wife to strangers I kind of feel good that someone is listening but it's completely up to you! I guess you're right I guess I will have a closer relationship with my boys were doing a lot of crying I've got memory boxes we are doing okay well maybe not! 

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