Hello Fluffymarshmellow

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your Mum. Grief is a natural process but it can be devastating and the effects can last for many years. 

I'm unsure from your post if you've ever had any counselling support in helping you to understand and find coping strategies for your emotions. You might find it helpful to get in touch with Cruse, a charity that offers bereavement support. You might also want to have a look at their booklet here which may be useful. 

I hope this helps. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator