I do want to try bereavement counselling but after the Covid I need to meet people face-to-face I think a phone call will be rubbish for me I lost my Wife just before Christmas this year she's left me with a nine-year-old and a two-year-old son this is by far the hardest thing I've ever had to do I feel your pain I wish I could say more if you want to talk

I have bean having bareavment counselling for the last 6 months with the people who were coming in the home to administer the wifes pain relief. We were married 34 years two grown up children one 22 and 30 years old.  Yes covid does make for phone consultaion  inadiquate.  or so you would think. go for it. if you don't like the phone arrange for another time when restictions are more relaxed. The phone counselling is an up and down of emotions.  the call can be as long as an hour or less. The person I talk too,  already has me worked out and that's just on 6 phone chats.  When I go very quiet she knows I'm having a tearfull moment, and it's when my wife is the conversation.  she will then talk to me on other matters regarding my son and daughter. then I compose myself and alls well. that was meant to be my last, but she feels I still am not coping with my wifes death. So she is extending the amount of time.

The fact that your adding to a forum is like having counselling. and people are replying. it's a bit like taking that first step. have a chat. if you feel it's not working for you,  you don't have to commit to anything.  has it helped me, yes.  I knew I'd talk about the wife. and I knew I'd get upset. they are there to help you cope.

As it was once said to me. it does not mean your weak asking for help to cope. Now I have to concentrate  on getting my liver cancer sorted. but that's a different kettle of fish. good luck in what ever you decide to do Chriss2020.

Hello

I tried bereavement counselling with Cruse, who are lovely but I think it was too early for me. Every time I spoke to them I got upset and for me it was just reinforcing all my sadness, the hospital, what happened etc. And then I'd spend the rest of the day distraught. I found it more helpful to speak to people who knew me well or who had met my sister. The counsellors listen like friends and sympathise but I felt nobody could make my sister come back or change the situation so I'm stopping for the moment and trying to keep busy. It's worth a try especially if you don't have many people who will listen to you for hours on end ( as it's important to talk of course) but for me it opened up far too many wounds and upset me too much and I was starting to dread the phone call.  Lots of love and good luck 

Thank you everyone I've actually thought after hearing what you guys had to say I've opted for hypnosis with a lady who has worked for cancer charities and specialist hospitals. I actually didn't think it was something that worked but after reading around the subject i am going to try it. Like you guys I really struggle with speaking about it just because It takes me right back to that moment in time and it's just too painful. Thank you all so much for the input and advice. It's very much appreciated I'm happy to let anyone know about my experience with it from Wednesday 3rd February 21 just ask she said it takes about 4/5 sessions to really feel a difference. I just hope it works