Hi, 

Thinking of you and your children. I lost my husband to testicular cancer on 2nd Jan after an almost 2 year fight. He was 41. We also have 2 children - 2 girls aged 11 and 7. Still feel almost numb at the minute and want to feel him with me like he promised he'd be, but I just don't yet. Praying I will one day as need to know he's there and that one day I'll be back with him. Got his funeral to come on Wednesday and currently framing a photo for the top of the coffin and noting down eulogy ideas. All feels so surreal. Got to keep going for the girls though. Sure you know that feeling. Best wishes to you and your little ones. 

Hello I know exactly what you're going throughI'm really sorry for your loss cancer is just horrible and obviously it affects The people who are left behind

 I think things will take a long time before we actually understand at all I'm much the same I walk round in limbo kind of like this can't be happening to me she's only popped out to the shop should be back soon but deep down we know what's happened and next time we'll see them as when we are up in heaven  to that's what my nine-year-old says anyway I hope it's true!  
funeral goes well Trust me you don't need to worry about it it's kind of like time stops just for a little while not really to say goodbye just to say that you love them and you had a short life but happy life 

i'm here if you do wanna talk I don't think I've ever met anyone from Newcastle because I'm from Southampton anyway trust me when I say I feel your pain that's without talking about the kids you're also grieving for the children I know I am I know they should have them and maybe it should've been me with the cancer! I love being on this website and I love talking to people sometimes when there is like radio silence I feel like oh my God what am I going to do next but the boys keep me busy

I'll have to have a look. Think if I can get myself back to really believing in that I'll get through life better, knowing I'll see him again. 

Please have a look we can really do this jo I promise  

Thanks Chris I really appreciate that. I really feel for you , it must be so hard being mum and dad , and I often wonder that , how did Winnie cook something different every day. I really took her for granted and feel so guilty now. I used to be like you and cryed at everything I did , I still do a bit but no nearly as much. 
I was very skeptic about going to a medium, but am so glad I did. I have a silver Peugeot 407. And Winnie loved that car . The medium told me what car I had and what colour. She also said I need a new tyre on the passenger side , and when I checked I found I did need one. She also told me lots of other things that only Winnie and I could have known. If you do go to one , I hope you get satisfaction. 
take care mate 

Mike. 

We can do it. We'll get through each day and keep supporting each other. 

Well it morning again  been hit by that train again! Connor age9  I really wish I Died  daddy not mummy  so you could be with mummy !  We really are a mess we thought we we  would get a dream  but we both got nothing ? Why are we doing this I question myself about everything 

Ah bless him. He must love you so much to think that. I dreamt I was cuddling and kissing Phil. Was so lovely but then waking up and realising he's gone hit me all over again. Wasn't like the dream I expected though. He didn't talk to me or give me a message or anything like that. Still, was nice to feel like I was with him again. I've had to find his work IT equipment to send back to them. Feels like another bit of him is gone. Makes it all more final. You're right, it's just so hard every day. Wish we could just go back in time and fix it somehow. 

I wish I could take away all your pain as well as my own  I never dreamed this would be my new  life 

Just so hard isn't it? Think lockdown makes it all harder as well. 

Hi lockdown is very hard  it feels like I'm being strangled. 

Know exactly what you mean. I'm doing a zoom tonight with some friends from work but it's not the same as actually seeing people, is it? 

Know exactly what you mean. I'm doing a zoom tonight with some friends from work but it's not the same as actually seeing people, is it? 

No try and have fun if you can  for me I'm going to talk to a chap who lost his wife  same time as us   Just going to give him my phone number 

That's a good idea. Hope you have a good chat. If you want we can message on WhatsApp or something instead of on here too. 

Thank you I'd like that  a lot