I really get it - all those emotions.

There is a total unreality to everything.

I have the same question.

Thankfully right now I am staying connected to people - they are giving me a sense of reality. Without them I would be in a much darker place.

But I know Rossella would be disappointed in me if I didn't keep going. She always thought me strong (but I'm not).

Well done mate your right  we have to keep strong x

Horrible day today so far.

The mind can be a terrible thing.

I keep replaying the final week or so and her utter helplessness.

She was a proud woman and must have hated every second.

There is a mechanism in my mind that I cannot control.

I completely understand mate about your brain that's a flight or fight most importantly that's just grief  The grief is wanting you to feel the pain  and push you down! But try to see the bright light  that  is somewhere in your brain  hold onto it focus on it that's your wife saying I'm okay try not to be so sad I know it's going to take time but I know you more than anybody and I know you can do this x  x I know it's really hard mate I feel *** today to but I just think about what my wife would say to me she probably would say something silly like the mighty will rise again I know she can't I definitely can do that for her hope it helps x

Yes it does thankyou  xx

Hope it helps  this is so hard  I'm just like you  up and down most of the time x

 I am a bit nervous about the funeral tomorrow.

Xx

 I can imagine my wife is the day after! Just remember you don't have to be strong crying is good  cry cry cry  At the funeral  no need to be strong no one will be strong that day