Yes it is the hardest thing - one should never have to go through this with your greatest love.

If I could have taken the cancer from her i would happily have taken her place.

You will cry alot.

When I stood up to speak I had nothing prepared apart from a Shakespeare poem. I decided to just say what came into my head in the moment. The Minister had to hold my arm at one point because I was choking up at the beginning but I settled and got through. 

She definitely felt my love in the moment.

I spoke to her in that moment - like there was no one else there.

I felt I was just there with her frozen in time.

Good luck tomorrow mate xx

Did the funeral help you? If that makes any sense

i don't want to go I will just don't want to say goodbye  

Yes it did help Chris.

You need to go - it was a kind of release.

Of course you will experience extreme emotions but they need to be expressed.

To go through them with other friends and family that she loved makes it more powerful.

They will remember and share all the moments they all shared together.

You will feel her there and communicate again.

Make sure you communicate the way you want to - the way you have to.

I thanked her for coming into my life and for bringing me true happiness and that we would be together again.

A moment not only between myself and Rossella but shared with her closest friends - never to be forgotten.

The memory and thoughts will be given life forever not just by us but by the whole group as well. 

They will all remember this and also wish for us to be together again.

Xx

I'm not at all ready for all this  seeing that coffin will make it real  and  see has to be just some sick joke I need my wife I'm not ready at all 

 your words make a lot of sense  to me and I hope I feel just the same after it all as me sitting on our bed crying is not helping anyone  right now x

Mate I spent 2 hours with Rossella in the morning.

Made sure she was dressed in her lovely clothes.

Added photographs and personal things for us and her family.

Also filled with lots of sea shells that she loved to collect from beaches.

I help her hand and her head. I kissed her and talked to her.

Just me and her again and yes I cried.

I followed her coffin and cried again.

At the funeral greeted by warm friends - the ones that matter and who really care. And I cried again.

I cried during the ceremony.

And I cried afterwards and saw the tears in others.

We all shared the grief together as well as remembering what made Rossella a wonderful human being.

You have to allow all the grief to come out with your friends and family.

You can do it - it will be the toughest thing you've done but you will feel a 'bit' better at the end.

It's a part of the next journey.

Xx

And throughout I was asking her to stay with me and not go

Thank you I feel a bit better now I can do this and will for my wife . What's the next chapter?

Good!

The next chapter? Whatever it is I just hope it can reignite the spark I once had inside.

Xx

Sure thing mate!