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Grieving for my mum when my dad has a new partner

Emella
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So I'm not really sure my aim for this post, I think I just need somewhere to get my feelings out on paper and see if anyones been in this situation before. 

I'm having a really hard time at the moment as I'm sure so many people are after this awful year. With that and always feeling a bit down at Christmas and other things in life I'm finding things really hard.

I lost my mum 8 years ago to Leukaemia (I was 14, I'm now 22) & this year around Feb/March my dad met someone new. I've always been super supportive and I knew this was going to happen at some point but theyve moved really fast and her and her son are moving into my house in January. My dad moved all the photos of my mum from our house and I've got no idea where hes put them. So much is changing and I'm really struggling to deal with it all. This Christmas was horrible because of restrictions anyway, but my dads 'support bubble' through Covid has been his partner and her family. I've worked in a supermarket through the whole pandemic and havent been able to see any friends or family all year. So at Christmas naturally he wanted to spend it with her meaning I couldnt see any of my family at all. To make things worse my Granddad (on my mums side) has just had to have a second operation this year to remove more cancer from his Pancreas. I cant help thinking if he were to lose his battle too that I didnt get to spend a last Christmas with him and my family. From now on with my dads partner and her son living here our Christmas is always going to be different & I feel so sad that I didnt get to have one last 'normal' Christmas. I did tell my dad but he didnt have much to say about it apart from hes sorry but I just kinda had to put up with it. 

I just cant help feel like this year has been extra hard for me & I'm trying so hard not to have a breakdown about it all. I dont have the best relationship with my dad anyway but now hes got a new family to focus on I feel even more pushed out of the picture & it's like my feelings dont matter at all because they're just going to do what they want to anyway without thinking about what it means to me. 

Sorry for waffling on but I would really appreciate any advice or anything if you've been in this situation & what I can do to try and cope a bit better. I'm making an appointment with my doctor next week so hopefully I can get on top of my mental health a bit better as well.

Emily x

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    Hi I'm sorry you lost your mum 8years ago   That sucks  I don't no if I can help in anyway at all  just want to say life sucks especially with anything to do with cancer I've lost my wife to breast cancer  And  I think I could never love again but maybe there is someone out there just like your dad found someone else I'm sure all he really wants would be your mum but that can't happen so I guess he wants to feel a woman again have someone hold him and love him again. I'm here if you want to talk x

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    Hello Emily, a second family is always hard to deal with, my Dad left us for his mistress when I was 17 years old, a new son by his new wife and basically they came first and always did.  So I grew up fast, made my own plans and my own decisions and like you the father daughter relationship was never the best.  I understand that there is a lot going on in your life, my Mum died 7 years ago today so it's hard at this time of the year.   Christmas is just two days really, we put a lot of meaning into it, like you ours was different as we couldn't see our daughters or grandchildren but I kept saying, it's just a day get over it and here we are days later and it's forgotten.  Your Dad left it a long time before he found someone else so he had a lonely time and I presume raised you as a single parent until this year.  Life is what you make it, so see your GP, see what he says and then maybe come back on here to say how you are doing.  You will be fine you need to put yourself first and hopefully all will fall into place.  Good luck Emily, best wishes, Carol x 

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