I lost my husband the love of my life two weeks ago on the12th December aged 64 I am completely lost the pain is unbearable. We'd been married for 40 years and did everything together he was my soulmate, we bought our little bungalow 5 years ago and had so many plans for our retirement but just a year later he was diagnosed with kidney cancer which had already gone to his lungs and liver, he fought so hard to stay with me it's heartbreaking, we've got one year old twin grandsons whom he adored and they loved their grampy it makes me so sad he'll miss them growing up. The pain comes in waves and just hits me I feel robbed of time with him because of him being in hospital and I couldn't go and visit him. I was holding his hand when he passed away which gives me a bit of comfort but I keep reliving it in my mind. I miss him so much and feel completely lost without him, your family can only do so much but it's the lonely days and nights on your own at home that are so hard.