Hi Hannah,

I am SO SO sorry to read your post. My heart broken for you as I was reading it. I'm so sorry your lovely mum declined so rapidly and that you didn't have warnings or time.

I'm very similar to you, my amazing dad passed away in October this year just two weeks after diagnosis. We were given 6-8 weeks and he passed away just one week after being told this. He passed away so so suddenly and although we had a poor prognosis we were not expecting him to pass away when he did.  
 

Watching a loved one be resuscitated must have been so so hard and I can't imagine how that much feel. I am a nurse myself  and I feel so so sad for you that you had to witness that.

Please be kind to yourself, you have been through so so much and losing a parent is one of the worst experiences we can go through. I'm struggling with the pain of it all so much. I bottle things up and then explode. I was due to get married next April and not having my dad there is something I am struggling with so much. We have decided to cancel as it was be 6 months to the day of his passing.

Can you access any counselling? My dad was linked in with our local hospices and was visited the day before he passed away. They offered me counselling which I am going to take. I don't know whether it will help but I will try. Also I find this forum so so helpful to talk. I don't really have anyone to talk to about it other than my direct family who are going through to same pain I am. My friends haven't lost parents as we are only in our early 30s so I feel alone. I've found people on here so kind and it helps you to feel like you are not alone.

You are doing an amazing job and did do caring for your mum. You can do this, we just need a little help to get through.

feel free to message me at anytime x