Very sorry you have lost your wife. You need time to grieve and believe me, with time your sorrow will become gratitude at the life you have had together. Cry when you feel like crying, it will help you. With time, you will smile and feel gratitude at the thought of happy times instead of feeling pain. She is no longer by your side but this doesn’t take away the years you have spent together. Your wife would not want you to be consumed with sadness, she would like you to be happy again once you have gone through the grieving process. Take one day at a time. Big hug to you!