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My dad passed away yesterday

bubblybrown18
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Hello,

I first posted in here on the 21st Nov about my dad. He was originally diagnosed with lung cancer and brain tumors. Two weeks ago he stopped the treatment as it wasn't working and was told it had spread tocboth lungs, his lymph nodes and liver. 

My dad was given 2 - 6 weeks at best, sadly yesterday 13 days after the consultant appointment my dad passed away in the early hours. I feel so guilty because I was not with him and wish I had been, I went everyday and stayed all day but yet I feel this doesn't matter because I wasn't there when he went. My dad assured me he wasn't in any pain or discomfort.

I'm completely heartbroken and lost, I lost my mum in July 2019 to lung cancer and now my dad to the same horrible disease now just before Christmas. I don't know how to processes the emotions I am feeling and don't know how to tell my 7 year old, who doted on his Grandad, it broke me last year about his Grandma.

Sorry for the long post but I'd appreciate any advice on how I'm suppose to cope/carry on.

Thanks 

Vicky

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    Hi Vicky,

    I am so sorry for your loss but I felt compelled to post as I lost my wonderful Dad today at 12.52am. He was diagnosed in January with stage 4 cancer both oesophagus and brain (secondary). It's been a tough year and reading your post made me relate. You sound like I feel - so many mixed emotions, I don't know how I feel. Relieved as the end well all of it has been so very hard but I miss him already and would do anything to turn back the clock to have him here when he was well. Anxious about how we will all cope, confused as to why it went so wrong so quickly and time ran away. I'm glad your dad wasn't in pain mine wasn't either that gives me some comfort.

    We told our children tonight and they cried and looked bewildered. It broke my heart. You are not alone just be kind to yourself, we can do this, one bit at a time. Hug your little man that seems the only thing that lifts me at this time. 
    kirsty

  • Offline in reply to klavers80

    Hello Kirsty,

    Thank you for the reply, I am so sorry for the loss of your wonderful dad. Dad's are amazing and I think now I took mine for granted. I always assumed my dad and mum would always be here. They never get ill and never complain, they are invincible. Then you ate sat in a room again hearing the word cancer and the whole world falls apart.

    I'm glad your dad wasn't in any pain either, that is some comfort we can have. I'm just shocked how quickly this horrible disease can take hold, 7 weeks ago my dad walked into hospital for his chemo treatment and walked back out, fast forward to 2 weeks ago and he had no strength and couldn't walk. I'd give everything I own to have my dad and mum back.

    Telling the children is horrible as you not only have to deal with your emotions but then also take on theirs. My son is still devastated but he has been amazingly strong, he's planning things to remember him by, a rockery garden, naming a star and planting a rose Bush for him, I'm finding this all a comfort, but we just need to take our grief a day at a time.

    Keep doing the hugs and take care and I'm always here if you want to chat  

    Vicky xx

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