Hello zo39

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum. It sounds like you've had an incredibly difficult few months with your Mum's diagnosis and the fact she passed so soon afterwards. Now you're caring for your elderly Stepdad, supporting him in his loss, whilst trying to balance being a Mum and a partner. And all of this is happening in the midst of a global pandemic. I think that it's perfectly understandable that you're feeling as you've described. 

Grief is a natural process, and there is no right nor wrong way to grieve, but it can be devastating and it's important that you take care of yourself following a bereavement. Can I suggest that you have a look at the Cruse website and have a think about reaching out to them for some support. I know that many members here have found it helpful to talk to someone during their grief. You may find that in turn, it helps you to talk to your partner about how you're feeling and they will be able to support you as well. 

Try to take things a day at a time and remember that it's important to look after yourself as well as everyone else. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator