Hello Lippy85

I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your husband. I can only begin to imagine what a difficult time this has been for you and I'm glad to hear that you had some support from Macmillan and you were able to get married. 

You have been through so very much these past 8 months. As you've said you've lost your husband and so many other aspects of your life as well. It's understandable that you're struggling with everything. 

You've mentioned that you're taking mirtazapine which I'm presuming that your GP has prescribed. I wonder if you've been referred or spoken to anyone about arranging some counselling. It sounds as if you may benefit from some support now in helping you to process everything that you've been through. If it's not something you've already looked into them I'd recommend speaking to your GP or getting in touch with Cruse who offer lots of different types of bereavement support. 

We've lots of members here who have lost partners and I think from reading their posts that most of them would say that day to day it does become easier with time. Unfortunately with the current Covid19 situation many normal coping strategies aren't available at the moment so that makes things harder still. 

If you'd like to have a chat with one of our nurses for some advice and support then you're welcome to call them. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

If it helps, keep in touch here as well Lippy85. You're always welcome to post here to offload or to chat with others.

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator