Good evening all. Firstly I'd like to say Thankyou for welcoming me. It feels nice to be somewhere where everyone knows what I'm going through. I lost my beautiful father 19th August 2020. He had Lung cancer and prostate cancer as well as COPD. He fought so so very hard until the end but as he couldnt eat or drink anymore his body gave up. I know you all know, especially after the loss but I just miss him so much. I just want to him to call me and tell me his TV won't switch on again even though its because he took the batteries out the night before to "save wasting them". I miss him moaning about everything in the world. I miss him pretending he likes my food I cook but I find it in the bin in tissue. I miss so much. I have to be so strong for my mum and my family but I feel like I'm crumbling inside. This man raised me as his own child since the age of 2. Adopted me and gave me a family. I owe my life to this man. I thought he was indestructible. I just miss him. I don't know what I'm looking for. But just to know I have that mutual understanding is enough for me. It hurts so much doesn't it guys. It really does.